I generally keep a distance from jealous people. They are jealous because of no reason. I mean they have so many blessings in life but they make their life hell by focusing on what they don’t have. You can easily judge people as they have very negative vibes. Their face says it all. If you don’t have something, either do something (hard work) about it or shirk the dream but please, for God’s sake Don’t Be Jealous.
I have a school time “friend” (I doubt if I should call her a friend) of mine, who is a big victim of “jealousy”. She is cribbing and cursing her fate for not being as “lucky” as me. Phew. She complaints of how her parents got her married early, about how she couldn’t gain any professional degree, how she didn’t find any opportunity of doing a job, how her life is finished after having two kids and the list goes on and on.
I can also tell her that rather I should be jealous of her for I got married late than her, for I had to struggle on both professional and personal front for making a place for myself, for I have to take care of the job as well as home, For I don’t get any “FREE” time to chat with neighbors and friends or to go on a shopping spree very often, For my baby is still a toddler and I have to change her nappy every three-four hours, but hey guess what, I am not complaining about it. I am happy with the way my life is moving. No two persons can have a same life; each has his own circumstances and opportunities. Then what is the use of being jealous with each other.
One more case is of my friend (another), who recently got a good hike in her salary, but with a problem. Her HR Manager seems to be cut off with her after handing over the increment letter. This “HR” is “not happy” with the fact that the friend of mine got a better package than her, when HR is a manager and this girl, still an executive.
Dear HR, open your eyes and your mind. Employer will never ever give an increment to an undeserving candidate. You should work hard and smart to rise professionally or you are demeaning the whole HR Community. As an HR you are trusted with sharing the confidential information like salary, because you are believed to be a professional.
I usually don’t share my achievements and my failures with most of my friends and relatives. I don’t want to feed anyone’s jealously and envy and make it bigger. There are so many people around you but very few who are truly happy or sad with your achievements and failures. Now you have to distinguish between those who are happy with your accomplishments and those who are sad about it. I know even if my beloved ones come to know about my success not from me, their instant reaction will be to wish me first and not to crib about not informing.
I am not saying that don’t trust anyone… it’s just that trust your instinct than others. If you don’t get a good vibe from anyone there is no need of breaking the relation but keep some distance so that the person is not able to harm you mentally, psychologically or physically. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Tips not to be jealous
1. Thank God for everything you have.
2. Be happy for others and yourself.
3. Count your accomplishments and blessings.
4. Understand that no one is below or above you. Everyone is unique.
5. Love and respect those who feel you are important in their lives.
6. Meditate, read self-help books, catch up with your pals, relax, or just love what you do (Hobby) in free time to avoid any free time at all.
7. Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.
8. Try to do what you are good at doing. Don’t copy others. Everyone is born with different capabilities.
9. Remember only incapable can be jealous. A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
10. And if you are still struggling hard with the thoughts of jealously and envy, read and adapt these proverbs from all over the world:
a) Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius
b) In jealousy there is more self-love than love
c) The envious die not once, but as oft as the envied win applause
d) If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang. ~Charley Reese
e) The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.
f) Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own
g) Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.
h) As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy
i) Jealousy injures us with the dagger of self-doubt
j) Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it
k) It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered
l) Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has
m) Envy assails the noblest: the winds howl around the highest peaks
n) A show of envy is an insult to oneself
o) Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it, For jealousy dislikes the world to know it
p) Compete, don’t envy.
q) Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
r) Envy eats nothing but its own heart
s) Kiss the hand of your enemy if you cannot chop it off: Envy has no rest
t) Love is too rare to be lost on jealousy
u) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope
v) The enemy’s own punishment is his envy
w) The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves
x) They that envy others are their inferiors